A Time For Friendship

As we enter summertime many of us will be spending more time with our friends, making new friends & reconnecting with old ones.

Friendship is the capacity of two human BEINGS to be with one another in caring, sharing, honesty, acceptance & trust. Friends approach with the spirit of giving rather than taking. A friend is the first person who comes in when it seems like the whole world goes out.

It has been said that our ability to make & maintain loving relationships & friendships is the most important thing we can do to stress proof our life.

As friends, it is important that we contribute our time, energy, attention, ideas, support & care, AND that we also are open enough to make our needs for these things known to the friend.

Our lifetime span will include an array of friends - true blue, historical, social, party, ex-lover, platonic, office, church, organizational, trend, friends of friends, long distance friends, special interest, convenience, old, new, elderly & young friends.

In significant relationships in distress the foundational value that quickly disappears is friendship - we forget the actions of friendship with our partner. In troubled or problematic relationships what is ignored &/or stopped are the little but significant things that brought the two together.

It is time to release a friendship when: * it doesn't enliven * it is costing more than it's giving * one is dealing only with their needs & not giving * not dealing with issues in an open & honest way * gossiping. A good question to ask is: which is more painful - to end the friendship or deceive ourselves into believing it has meaning or value? Does habit or fear hold more than the honesty & courage to say goodbye?

Here are some ABC's of a Friend. As you go through the list think of the friends in your life that honour you with these qualities AND reflect on whether you emulate these qualities to your friends. Accepts you as you are. Believes in "you".Calls you just to say "HI". Doesn't give up on you. Envisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts). Forgives your mistakes. Gives unconditionally. Helps you. Invites you over. Just "be" with you. Keeps you close at heart. Loves you for who you are. Makes a difference in your life. Never judges. Offers support. Picks you up. Quiets your fears. Raises your spirits. Says good things about you. Tells you the truth when you need to hear it. Understands you. Values you. Walks beside you. X-plains things you don't understand. Yells when you won't listen & ... Zaps you back to reality. A friend supports, encourages, inspires, awakens in us that part of us that needs & wants to come out. A friend is someone who knows the song in our heart & can sing it back to us when we forget the words or melody. Happy Friendships.

Namaste,
Gail Schultz

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